Things I love

Everyone has problems.

My biggest problem? Negativity. 

I can't control it. I have so many happy little moments in my life, so many precious seconds to be thankful for, but for some reason my brain overlooks them and says, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH. YOU CAN'T EVEN WHISTLE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON....

AND SOMETIMES YOU DROOL UNCONTROLLABLY..."

It's exhausting. And really stupid. I want to be joyful, always. Ecstatic, always. Blissful, always. I can't change overnight, I can't suddenly become happy, but I can start small. 

Here is a list of things I love. (IN NO SPECIFIC ORDER).

-My family. Can't live with them, can't live without. So cliche, but so true. Mom, Dad, Cameron, Kristin, Kayla. Weird, strange souls, that I love.

-Having conversations that enlighten you, and are not full of superficial fluff.

-Reading, and when done reading, analyzing. Consuming my thoughts with the characters of the book, the plot, the world they exist in. Telling people about these books, and trying to convince them to read it.

-Avatar the Last Airbender. Kid show, full of life lessons, and super cool ninja stuff. 

-Kallie Hancock. She doesn't even realize how special she is to me. She is not a best friend. She is an eternal/celestial friend. To infinity... AND BEYOND. P.s. My bird. (Only she will understand).

-Laughing out loud at really stupid things I find on the internet. When I say stupid, I mean, extremely hilarious and totally accurate.

-When I find a handsome boy that likes the same things I do, and I'm just like, (in my head of course), ASDFGHJKL SOUL MATES. LET'S GET MARRIED AND MAKE BABIES RIGHT NOW. 

-Candle light and old fashion lantern light. Nothing is more soothing to the soul than being in the dark with one little light, illuminating everything in a 10 foot radius around you. It's romantic, even if i'm just enjoying it all by myself. 

-Being obsessed with television shows, and watching every episode. Prison break, check. The Office, check. The Big Bang Theory, check. Heroes, check. Avatar the Last Airbender, check. 

-Roller coasters. I'm not much of an adrenaline junkie, but something about my heart almost bursting out of my chest, my stomach doing flip-flops, as I travel 80 plus mph, is super amazing.

-Dancing. Letting all my inhibitions fly away while I booty dance and sing, "TO THE WINDOW, TO THE WALL! TILL THE SWEAT DRIPS DOWN MYYYY....." (you can finish it on your own). I can't really explain my love for dancing. It just makes me feel so alive, and healthy and free. 

-Creating art. It's nice to know that I can make something out of nothing. The ability to create and progress is thrilling.

-Spirituality. I can feel it in my whole body. I love being connected to a higher, magnificent, loving, being. If anything, this brings me the most joy.

-Savoring chocolate. When it is stuck to the roof of your mouth and you can taste it for about a minute. The way it just melts like angelic clouds on the tip of your tongue. Best minute of my life. 

-Being able to be comfortable enough with someone that you can hang out with them and not say anything, and it isn't awkward. Just laying/sitting there, both thinking, not speaking, but feeling each others presence and energy, it's enticing. 

-Johnny Depp. Enough said.

-When I give someone a compliment, and they take it, and not try to give one back. 

-Sunsets. Just watching it slowly fall. The colors. The clouds. When it vanishes beneath the ocean. Wishing you could just grab it and eat it all up. Omnomnomnomnom.

-Laughing uncontrollably at the dumbest things. Ex. yesterday I told Kristin that I wish to fly. She then said, "Do you think flying is as hard as running." I said, "Obviously not, idiot." And then we just laughed. It was so dumb, and so perfect. I laughed so hard I popped a wisdom tooth stitch.

I think that is enough for tonight. Once I got started, it was hard to stop. It's amazing, how writing things down, really makes you think. It makes you really ponder what is most important, what you want the world to see. I might be negative, in my head, but I have a great life, I need to just change my perspective on things in my heart. I need to get my priorities straight. 

Life is good. 

P.S.

"NOOO! MY CABBAGES!"

(You'll understand if you like Avatar: the Last Airbender. Oh my gosh I'm 12 years old.)